are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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