(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Come on in and take your pants off
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