508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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