before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
