His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
