Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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