Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
