Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I need to calm my uterus...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize