I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
