I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
