it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
