Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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