I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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