she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
