Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
