I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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