When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
