Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
