went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
