would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
