he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
