Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
