She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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