Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we made out on top of his cat.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
