He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
