Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
