Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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