People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i now understand why vodka
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
