We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
