What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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