ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think people are normalizing furries
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
