We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
