wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
