I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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