I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize