look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
