I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
