who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want to have your abortion
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
