I just made out with a guy for $7.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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