My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
