All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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