Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
