I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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