its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
