There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
