If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
