he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
