Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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