I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
