I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
