He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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