I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
