I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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