are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
