Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
