I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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