My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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