smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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