I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
