Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
